SIGN 01
She is fascinated by your boring job
You explain quarterly supply forecasts. She leans in. She takes notes. She asks for the spreadsheet.
What it probably means: She likes you. Enjoy it, nobody else listens to the forecasts.
CASE FILE No. 0618-HP
Is My Girlfriend a Chinese Spy?
Short answer: almost certainly not. But if she laughs at all your jokes, photographs your laptop and really wants to meet your coworkers at the chip plant, take the quiz anyway.
12 questions. Our highly unqualified analysts will rule on her file.
OPEN THE FILE2 minutes. No clearance required.
Is my girlfriend a spy? The quiz
Question 1 of 12: How interested is she in your work laptop?
Question 2 of 12: How did you two meet?
Question 3 of 12: What does she want to talk about on date night?
Question 4 of 12: Who texts her at 3 AM?
Question 5 of 12: What does she whisper in your ear?
Question 6 of 12: It's hot pot night. Where does she sit?
Question 7 of 12: What's on her camera roll?
Question 8 of 12: What's her pet name for you?
Question 9 of 12: What happens after you fall asleep?
Question 10 of 12: What did she get you for your birthday?
Question 11 of 12: You mention you might change jobs. How does she react?
Question 12 of 12: Has she ever slipped up?
ANALYST VERDICTFILE 0618-HP
Verdict: JUST YOUR GIRLFRIEND
(RELAX)
THREAT LEVEL1 / 5
We searched her file for stolen chip designs and found a grocery list. The only thing she's after is your fries. Maybe stop being weird about it.
RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
- Delete your search history.
- Take her to hot pot and let her pick the seat.
- Never tell her you took this quiz.
ANALYST VERDICTFILE 0618-HP
Verdict: PROBABLY
JUST NOSY
THREAT LEVEL2 / 5
She asks what you do because she's trying to understand what you do. Nobody understands what you do. File stamped GIRLFRIEND and returned to the cabinet.
RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
- Explain your job one more time. Slowly.
- Stop calling your laptop "the asset."
- Stop checking her bubble tea for microphones.
ANALYST VERDICTFILE 0618-HP
Verdict: ASSET IN
TRAINING
THREAT LEVEL3 / 5
A few red flags, mostly beige. If she's an operative, she's an intern. Last week she sent your Wi-Fi password to headquarters and called it a breakthrough in AI.
RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
- Keep work talk to "fine, busy."
- Lock your phone at hot pot. Enjoy the beef anyway.
- Never, ever show her the whiteboard.
ANALYST VERDICTFILE 0618-HP
Verdict: HANDLER ON
SPEED DIAL
THREAT LEVEL4 / 5
Auntie knows your product roadmap. The org chart was "just for fun." She asked what a GPU cluster is, then corrected your answer. Agent, this file is getting thick.
RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
- Change your Wi-Fi password, then wonder how she's already on it.
- Invite Auntie to dinner and see who shows up.
- Consider a less sensitive career, like a bakery. Bakeries have no export controls.
ANALYST VERDICTFILE 0618-HP
Verdict: FULL HONEYPOT
PROTOCOL
THREAT LEVEL5 / 5
Hot pot every Friday. A 3 AM "Auntie." She knows your badge number. Agent, this is either true love or a five-year plan. Possibly both.
RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
- Change every password you own.
- Go to hot pot anyway. The broth is excellent.
- Say hi to Auntie. She already knows you.
Your answers never leave your browser. Unlike your secrets, apparently.
FIELD MANUAL
How can you tell if your girlfriend is a spy?
You mostly can't, and she mostly isn't. Real honeypot operations are rare and aimed at people with access to secrets. Still, here are the six classic warning signs, and what they almost always mean instead.
SIGN 02
She asked about your security clearance before your middle name
First date small talk: favorite movie, star sign, which classified programs you can access.
What it probably means: She has never met anyone with a lanyard before.
SIGN 03
"Auntie" texts her at 3 AM
Every night, same time. Auntie has a lot of questions about your company.
What it probably means: It is a real auntie. Aunties do not sleep. Aunties want to know if you have eaten.
SIGN 04
She photographs documents "for the aesthetic"
Your desk, your laptop screen, the whiteboard behind you on video calls. All for her feed.
What it probably means: Her Xiaohongshu genuinely is that aesthetic.
SIGN 05
At hot pot, she always faces your phone
Every Friday. Same seat. Clear line of sight to your lock screen while you fish for dumplings.
What it probably means: That is the seat closest to the sauce bar. She has priorities.
SIGN 06
She knows things you never told her
Your mother's maiden name. Your Wi-Fi password. Your fantasy football lineup.
What it probably means: You told her. You talk in your sleep.
PRESS CLIPPING
Why does this site exist?
In October 2026, The New York Times reported that US officials suspect a businesswoman of being a Chinese intelligence asset who had grown close to Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang. In November, Huang admitted to an extramarital affair and Nvidia's board opened an independent investigation. The spy allegation has not been proven, and nobody has been charged.
The internet did what the internet does. This site is the result.
Read the reporting:South China Morning Post, PC Gamer, DCD
DEBRIEF
Frequently asked questions
How can you tell if your girlfriend is a spy?
Realistically, you cannot from home, and the odds are tiny unless you handle state or trade secrets. Unusual interest in classified work, pressure to share documents and secrecy about her own job are the warning signs security agencies list. Everything else on this site is a joke.
What is a honeypot spy?
A "honeypot" is an intelligence operation that uses a romantic or sexual relationship to get close to a target and gather information. It is a real tactic, used by many countries, and a staple of every spy movie ever made.
Who do honeypot spies target?
People with access to valuable secrets: government officials, defense contractors and, lately, executives and engineers working on chips and AI. If your job is explaining spreadsheets to the printer, you are probably safe.
Why is everyone talking about Chinese honeypots right now?
Because of a news story in late 2026 about a tech CEO and a businesswoman US officials suspect of being an intelligence asset. The spy allegation is unproven and nobody has been charged. See "Why does this site exist?" above for the reporting.
Is this quiz real?
No. It is satire. It cannot detect spies, and a high score means you picked the funny answers.
What should I do if I really think my partner is a spy?
If you hold a security clearance or work with sensitive technology, talk to your security officer or your company's security team. Do not confront anyone because of a quiz you took on the internet.
Does the Chinese button translate the site?
Not exactly. Try it and see.
Do you store my answers?
No. Your answers stay in your browser and are never sent anywhere. We only count visits, like every website.